Post Africa confusion and over the falls with a bump...

I've been back from Uganda for 2 weeks now although it seems a lot longer. Actually, it will be 2 weeks tomorrow. It's been difficult adjusting back to life in Scotland following the break. I'm pretty surprised about this given I was only away for 2 weeks. I remember similar feelings when I returned from a 3 month stint in 2003, but heading back to University life and friends kept me so busy I think it was probably easier to adjust. Working part time at the moment has left me with a lot of free time on my hands to think too much, and having an unemployed husband at home also adds some extra stresses on the weekdays when we're both home and feel like we should be out working! I was surprised I settled back into the African way of life so quickly on my recent trip given my previous visit had been 6 years ago. It really was just like meeting up with a really good old friend again. I'm going to try to verbalise some of my thoughts on why returning home has been hard for me, however I'm not sure it's easy to put in to words. I know many of you reading this have travelled extensively and have probably had similar feelings/experiences - I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

There have been a number of contrasts I've really noticed. Apart from a huge change in weather (coming back home to Scotland from abroad heading in to autumn or winter is always a challenge!) and the pace of life, I really miss being outside all the time and getting regular exercise outdoors. I feel claustrophobic all couped up inside. It's just not that appealing to head outside when it's 10 degrees and windy! I also miss people's attitudes. I miss the contagious "don't worry, everything will work out" attitude that so many people in Africa have - Africans and Caucasians alike. A self-confessed born worrier, being immersed in these attitudes is so therapeutic - it's impossible not to chill out! Being in Africa seems to give me a better perspective on who I am. I think that may well be due to removing all the unnecessary worries and facades that come hand-in-hand with trying to function in a western society. In Africa I feel like I am Jen - nothing more and nothing less, no labels attached. Also, it is just SO refreshing not to be surrounded by a culture where "stuff" seems more important than people. I love that in Africa everyone is dusty and dirty and nobody cares. I love not waking up in the morning and worrying that your top doesn't match your shoes. It's refreshing to be surrounded by folk out there (Westerners travelling included) who judge you by your personality and not outwardly by appearances. I've been left contemplating how shallow our Western, post-modern society really seems and how "contagious" it's values are. I left Africa refreshed with the simplicity of life and encouraged that "stuff", in the grand scheme of things, is unimportant. Returning home I've quickly been reminded how important appearances, things and money are in our society. If it's not people talking at work about the new top of the range Audi they are going to buy it's my accountant phoning to update me on my tax returns or an advert for the next iPhone you must have on the TV. I miss that people in Africa make time to talk with one another and that relationships within communities are deep and strong resulting in a rich community spirit and an eagerness to help one another out. Back home it seems people are so busy with life that relationships are often sidelined - I know myself I am guilty of this. In my opinion, when it comes to living a good life, we in the West have so much to learn from our African friends.

This all said I think it's only fair to add that I am fortunate to be able to visit Africa as a westerner with expendable income. Although living out there seems cheap and easy for me, it is not so rosy for many Ugandan families who live hand to mouth as subsistence farmers. The jobs market out there seems to be as difficult at the moment as in the UK, health care is not free and many people have diseases they cannot afford to have tended to. Thinking of this makes me feel selfish as a visitor who is not putting anything back into the local community. I found this a difficult contrast to my last visit when I was working as a doctor out there. I also felt quite ashamed spending more on one days kayaking than most families would earn in many months.

In summary I guess I am confused. In one respect I appreciate the simplicity of life in Uganda and enjoy being in a place where money is not people's main priority in life but, on the other hand, I'm enjoying this way of life as an outsider who has enough that I don't need to worry about paying for food, a roof over my head or doctor's fees.... quite the hypocrite, huh! Thoughts please!

On another note, I've been trying to challenge myself a bit more on the paddling front since I got home from Africa. It's been a bit difficult trying to find like minded folk who want to do some of the more difficult runs rather than just sticking on the usual grade 3's, but I did manage to get out and paddle the Tummel last weekend and again yesterday. Unfortunately we had an incident yesterday when the guy I was paddling with landed the second drop of a 18 foot fall onto a rocky slab sideways - landing on his shoulder and the side of his face. It was immediately obvious he'd fractured his left clavicle. After we got him out of the gorge and sorted out the shuttles, the rest of the afternoon was spent in A&E. As well as feeling pretty sorry for Neil, I've also lost my paddling chum for the next couple of months at least. If anyone out there fancies trying some local grade 4's give me a shout!

Here are a few photos of the fateful run:

After the first drop, despite a decent line in, Neil gets pushed left by the stopper...

Far to far left and trying to correct like crazy with a big draw stroke before the second drop...

Still trying to correct with a draw stroke whilst dropping over the lip. The left edge of his boat then hit the rock platform visible under the spray and he flipped landing shoulder first then on his face on the rock before slipping off the rock inverted into the stopper below (flushy stopper thank goodness!)

Nasty break.